Mile 11 and hating life -
Anyone will tell you that I'm a SUPER over-the-top positive and happy person! No doubt - I can motivate, encourage, and support others like no one else on earth (okay, well that's a bit overstated). That said . . . anyone who knows me while I'm running ("L", "C", "M") knows that I can become extremely NEGATIVE. I seem to loose all sense of joy when things get hard. When I begin to struggle - EVERYONE around me hears about it. I'm not proud of this fact, and I really hope that some day I learn to love running which will stop the negativity, but for now - running is super hard for me and I struggle. Anyway, about mile 11 I was really hating life. I said on more than one occasion "I WANT TO SIT DOWN RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!!!!!!" I am also known to say things like "I want this to be over. I want to be DONE!" During miles 10-12 I was with an amazing group of women. They were struggling too, but when I said the negative things, they countered with a slew of encouraging words. They helped me to put one foot in front of the other. They helped me to not sit down. I should mention that there was a woman named Carol who told me "I'm not going up there only to come back down here" and she did in fact sit down. Carol did not become my friend - she represented everything I thought I wanted (sitting, rebelling, stopping), but became the persona of everything I didn't want (to be a quitter, to give up, to not be able to have a great story of finishing the race). To those ladies around me during mile 10-12 - THANKS!
Home Stretch, gent
I made the final right turn onto the last 800 yards and was passed on my left by an older gentlemen. He and I had been near each other for some time. We had shared some verbal pleasantries along the way and I actually think he was part of the ladies who supported me during the miles 10-12. As he passed me, he said "You've come this far, you're not really going to let me beat you are you?" Honest to goodness - I can't remember the words I said to him, but it was probably something positive and kind (I loose the funk once I see the finish line . . . just in case you're wondering - having a visual of the end really helps elevate my mood). Immediately, he slowed down to allow me to be in front of him as if to say "this is your race, not mine - go do your thing." I was shocked that someone would do such a selfless gesture as to "throw a finish", but was also humbled by the act. I told him something like "No - you go be all you can be. See you at the end." He took off and sadly I didn't see him again. He wasn't more than a few seconds (less than 30 probably) ahead of us (maybe I can search the results - there weren't many men in the race who finished near me). Anyway, I owe him a lot for showing me the impact selflessness can have on others.
I owe my training partner and friend "C" a HUGE thank you! Without "C" at my side the entire time, I would have NEVER been able to finish!!! "C" - you're an amazing person and I'm all the better for knowing you, for training with you, and for having you as my friend. Thanks!!!!!!!!!!
Coming up next -
the mini-vacation surrounding the race followed by the race recap later this week and then photos next week.