Monday, July 25, 2011

Chapter 2 page 386 - TR 142 poor me session from a 12 miler

I so want to paste a picture of porky pig saying "That's all folks!"  I so want this suckfest to be over.  I so want to never again run a long run.  I so want to just be done with running - for this year, for this season, heck maybe even for my life . . . but I can't.  I can't because I've made committments and whether I feel excited or not, I have 4 half marathons in 4 months coming up (August - Chicago RnR, September - Fort 4 Fitness, October - St. Louis RnR, November - Big Sur).  I am an adult of sound mind (but questionable judgment).  I entered these races all by myself - I was not forced (quite the opposite some of my friends did their best to keep me from jumping head first into the shallow end), but alas, I didn't listen and thought "why not, I'll already be trained."  Well folks - I'm tired!  I'm really really tired!!!  It dawned on me today (or recently anyway) that I have been following a training plan week in and week out since the first week of February.  I have not stopped or quit or taken a rest.  I have been on the current training plan for 10 weeks (since 5/22) and have only missed 2 training runs - and my over achieving self actually made those up along the way.  I still have 9 more weeks on this training schedule which is all designed to get me a sub 3 PR in my September half which is local.  I've been aiming for that for a year and honestly I can't for the life of me remember why I even care (yeah yeah yeah, the recent 3 mile PR smackdown did feel good so I assume it will feel equally awesome to do it in the half). 
I've been faithful to training.  I hydrate.  I fuel.  I do everything that is asked of me regarding my runs - now 4 days a week, speed work, hill training, and the dang gone long runs.  I do them all.  They aren't fast or pretty, but I do them.  I check them off the list.  I try very hard to learn from them.  I try to apply what I learned.  I surround myself with 2 awesome training partners (C & L - notice that tonight, I'm even too exhausted to use quote marks).  I even have a team of health professionals on speed dial - 2 massage therapists, an NP, 2 PTs and and PTA.  I paid $120 to take a dang gone class to teach me how to do it better so that I can go faster and yet . . . yet, it all is still impossibly difficult.  Here's what has gotten me all fired up:

12 miler (exact same route - just in reverse- as last week's long run) -

Why did it SUCK SO BADLY?
1.  Last week we ran in the heat warning, but it was first thing in the morning - we did this week's in the evening - wow, was it hot and humid (86* when we finished at 8:40 nearly 90* when we started).
2.  During last night's new shoe 3 miler, my left ball of my foot began hurting - yeah, it was crippling tonight -felt as if I had a golf ball in my shoe I was trying to run on - what's that all about.  The pain was an 8/10 until we stopped and I rubbed it a little then the rest of the run it was a pain of 3/10.  I CANNOT handle another pain.
3.  The well water and warm water made me nauseous.  I seriously was going to throw up.
4.  Despite the heat, we upped our running interval from last week.
5.  I'm just NOT cut out to run this far!
6.  This was my 3rd day of running in a row - not a smart choice I know, but with the weather it was hard to adjust the runs otherwise.  I did the best I could.  The weather this week is only going to get hotter so I honestly don't think there was any other way around it - unless I missed a run. . . . and maybe in hindsight, skipping last night's run might have been a better idea than to push just to finish the dumb 3 miles (that ended up hurting my left foot).

1.  I had 2 amazing training partners - both C&L were there with me.  They refused to leave me even when I was sure I was going to puke and sure I could NOT take another step!  "L" hasn't trained this far in a year and dang she was smoking me - see, something just isn't right - it should be getting easier and IT ISN'T!!!!
2.  I had some lifesavers candy in my fuel belt.  Helped with the nausea and gave my tongue something to do which distracted me for a little bit (twice). 
3.  We opted for a pretty shady route.
4.  We stopped for water 3 times and the potty once. 
5.  We were familiar with the route since we had just done it a week ago. 
6.  It's my LAST long run until my Chicago RnR half on 8/14 - next week is a cut back week (PTL because I seriously can't do another long run - heck, I'm not even sure I can go 13.1- these 12 KILLED ME!)
7.  AND THIS IS THE BEST ONE . . . I have a rock star awesome husband!!!  When I came home, he already had the trash taken out to the curb, he had cooked dinner and put it conveniently so all I had to do was nuke it, he washed our bath towels so that my towel fresh and awesomly fluffy when I got out to the shower.  What husband does that?  Mine - I love him.  Thanks honey (he reads my blog!) for being awesome and understanding that this madness is going to continue through 11/20 (doesn't that seem impossibly far away . . . 16 more weeks!)

Yeah, I'm pretty fired up and I'm sorry that yet again using this as my platform to SCREAM my frustrations.  I really am a positive person and generally my enthusiasm is contagious, but not tonight.  I'm sorry!  Please don't stop stopping by - I'm hoping for something positive to happen in my running life!

I am currently welcoming any advice you have to offer.  Because my races are destination races and involve lots of money (flights, hotels, entry fees) not training isn't an option.  I'm thinking about returning to only 3 days a week because I seemed to be a happier runner "back then" - yes, that is actually sounding pretty good - will have to ask my half mary teacher on Wednesday.  Other than that - any suggestions on how to survive or make it feel easier or to make it actually easier or how to push through when it just totally sucks??  I'm serious- ANY advice you have is appreciated!!!!  Thanks!


  1. First off, I just want to tell your husband how awesome he is. You are very blessed to have him in your life!

    Second, we all go through periods in our training that are totally sucky! Every run hurts and we question why we keep on doing what we're doing. But the light at the end of the tunnel is completing those races and having a good time doing so. You'll get used to the extra mileage per week and you'll be a stronger runner for it. Keep it up... I know you can do it!

  2. I wouldn't say I smoked you by a long shot. We finished. The end. Who else in the whole world can say that? Not many. Good job girl! "L"

  3. A lot to take in here. I love how you wrote the first half of this post. It paints a great picture of who you are as a runner and where you are at on this journey!!

    I don't have much for other advice on this post but have an idea for a future post...

    I am amazed at how you get these long runs in, even when they take forever. Can you tell us about time commitments and how you get training to fit into your schedule? Especially with the walk/run. I get frustrated if a run takes me too "long" but you seem to always get yours done!

  4. Girl, you are amazing. I hope you remind yourself of just how much you accomplish each week. The fact that you do not give up (except the lying in the grass part) and stick to the schedule is inspiring. Seriously.

    I think the way to get through is to try to make it as fun as possible. You do great with that as far as training partners and good iPod distraction when solo. Try a new route or think of a reward for making it each couple weeks (matching nail polish and shirt perhaps?).

    Also, before I read this, I was thinking that once I get a doc OK, if you ever get to the big city and want a partner, Miles and I can join you. I care not about pace or intervals - just running and good company :) Keep your chin up. You have a lot of people rooting for you. Even Miles. He and I will be out there come F4F to cheer and scream. Him screaming, mostly :)

  5. I am sorry you are so frustrated with running right now. I do think that you are doing amazing. Running 4 days a week is NOT easy, its starting to get very brutal for me as well. I am trying to talk myself up for my run tomorrow already! Just keep your head up... you are running 12 miles and that's more than most people can say. It doesn't matter how you get there, what matters is that you cross that finish line!

    I would definitely talk to Eric about your feelings, struggles and apprehensions, maybe he will have some ideas about how to handle it. I would hate for you to give up or burn out.

    I think I agree with several of the above posters, continue to mix it up and make the training runs fun. I am definitely a believer in rewarding yourself for working hard and achieving big milestones. I reward myself every 15 or 20 pounds lost. Sometimes its a new outfit, sometimes its a manicure, or a facial. Whatever it is that gets me through.

    Love the shirt you bought by the way! If you ever want a running partner, please let me know. I am actually wanting to do some of the interval running and promise to run at your pace!